The longer that I am in Los Angeles, the less human I feel. The constant barrage of "what's in it for me" and "I want things my way, screw you" behavior wears at me and I have sort of closed my eyes and formed a robot-like mentality so I don't absorb too much of the negative energy directed my way.
But yesterday, I had a little reminder that I am indeed human.
The place where I am living is going to be tented for termites in a few weeks and the condo owners met yesterday to discuss the process with the exterminator. Before the meeting there was concern about one condo owner. She had previously stated that she was against the tenting and had "bought some poisons from Home Depot and sprayed it on her porch and there are no termites anymore", and that we should spray around her. There was concern that she did not understand the process (since English is her second language) and she would not leave her unit for the spraying. One neighbor tried to knock on her door to talk to her and she wouldn't answer for him. I tried calling a few times before the meeting and she didn't answer. I ended up leaving a phone message stating that we could discuss her concerns and maybe help her out.
She didn't show up to the meeting.
Immediately some of the other condo owners wanted to hire a lawyer to put a lien against her property to force her to leave her unit. Many of us felt horrible about this, and we left the meeting feeling a little horrible about the entire thing.
Yesterday evening, after the meeting was well over, she called me. She told me that she didn't have a job and didn't have the money to pay for the tenting, and that she had asthma and didn't know how to move her plants. She was extremely concerned about her plants. So I talked to her as a compassionate neighbor. I told her there was the possibility of paying in small increments. I also told her that I would help her move her plants to the side yard where they would not be killed. And after I told her this, her demeanor completely changed. She was extremely grateful and willing to go through the tenting.
As I lay in bed after the phone call, I realized that I felt human for the first time in a long time. Since moving to L.A., I have gotten used to being bullied into submission. It's hard not to feel jaded against people when this happens. But this was a little reminder that sometimes operating from a place of love is better than operating from a place of fear.
Hopefully I don't forget the feeling too soon.
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